the ache of monogamy.

‘Same Old Same Old,’ to me, represents the ache of monogamy. This isn’t an ‘I’m leaving you’ song. It’s a vulnerable confession of ‘I don’t want to leave. I want to work on this – with you.’ Having said that, someone once told me a story about long term relationships. To think of them as a continent to explore. I could spend a lifetime backpacking through Africa, and I would still never know all there is to know about that continent. To stay the course, to stay intentional, to stay curious and connected – that’s the heart of it. But it’s so easy to lose track of the trail, to get tired, to want to give up, or to want a new adventure. It can be so easy to lose sight of the goodness and mystery within the person sitting right in front of you. That continent idea inspires me, and makes the ache (when it comes) hurt a little less. To know that it happens to all of us. What I’m realizing now is that sometimes the ‘same old same old’ can actually be rich, worthwhile and a great adventure.”—Joy Williams

resonating so deeply. cheers to the ache.


I read an article today on healthy childhood sexual development written by a christian for christians. I am bitter and resentful. Resentful of all the sweeping generalizations of men, women, sex,  and marriage. Bitter that I don’t find joy in the role of provider or homemaker. Because supposedly, being a woman, I must.  Mad this writer is telling christians they have to fit in this mold. Go away, I say.